Who said what now? Gender Dialogue

Character Dialogue

How to create distinctive three dimensional characters PART 2

Remember the time I was reading and had to wonder why the heroine had a penis, but it turned out POV had changed? Well we've talked about using body language to define your character now it's time for dialogue.

Unless your characters are identical twins who finish each other's sentences and speak in unison, your characters should have their own distinct way of speaking.

The key to finding your characters voice is knowing who they are. Really knowing... Like where are they from, are they formal or informal, educated or uneducated, trendy or old fashioned, guarded and reserved or open, are they someone who speaks every incessant thought that comes into their head, or do they keep their cards close?

GENDER

Let's start with gender because that's where this whole topic started for me. If you're writing romance it's even more important to get this right because genders (particularly for the hero) are much more clearly defined.

DESCRIPTIVE AND EMOTIVE LANGUAGE

Ladies tend to use more descriptive and emotional language. I don't need to go further than my own living room to find examples. My husband being the very stereotype of overt masculinity provides them in abundance.  

Example; someone asks how our meal is, and we are both enjoying it.

• Hubby: "It's fine, thanks." If it's ABSOLUTLY THE BEST THING HE HAS EVER EATEN maybe, "It's good, thanks."
• Me: "It's fantastic/delicious/wonderful, thank you."

If fact I am quite sure my husband has never spoken any of the words I just used.

So think about connotations of word choices. Words that are emotional and descriptive might be used for the heroine and not the hero. Where the heroine might say, gorgeous, ecstatic, or devastated, the hero might use words like nice, pleased, or pissed.

DIRECTNESS

Men are more likely to be direct in what they say and get to the point. For example a hero would be more likely to answer a question with a simple yes or no, while the heroine might say something like "I'd prefer not to" or "I'm not sure about that".

• Females are more likely to phrase things as questions and males as statements.
• Females use more adjectives. Males have shorter sentences.

Tip: If you want to get a real feel for male and female speech patterns this exercise takes only a few minutes and gives great insight—it's also pretty funny.

Record five minutes of a male talk program such as The Footy Show, or Top Gear. Play the recording and write down all the dialogue as it is spoken. Then do the same for a female driven show like The View. Now compare the two. How different is dialogue? I bet you'd never confuse the gender of the speakers.

PERSONALITY AND BACKGROUND

There are a million ways you can reveal your character with dialogue. Here are just a few things to think about.

Revealing a background

• You'll notice a difference in the way people speak just from the area they live in, even if there is not a distinctive accent. People from some states or countries tend to frequently use certain words. Think about where your character is from to form their language choices.
• Formal/educated/professional characters will tend to have better grammar, use more formal language, possibly use less contractions.
• Less formal characters may have poorer grammar, use more slang and colloquialisms. 
• Is your character an expert on a certain topic? Clues might be woven into dialogue or even internal narrative.

Revealing a personality

• Does your character have their own saying or phrase? It can make your character distinct, but be sure not to over use it. 
• Does your character use humor in their speech? 
• Is the character cool/trendy? If so they would be all over pop-culture phrases (but careful these date). 
• Is your character mysterious? Then they might be more elusive and less upfront in their answers. 

What I learnt about writing from Bruce Lee

How to create distinctive three dimensional characters PART 1

Last post, when I talked about POV I touched on something I really wanted to expand on.
 
"It then becomes crucial (and I believe this is true for every POV style) that the characters be distinctive and easily identifiable within themselves. They should have their own voice (including distinct language choice, way of speaking, syntax) as well as body language and mannerisms. You shouldn't need to say their name to feel their skin—and with 1st person you have no leeway not to achieve this." 

Easier said than done, right? Obviously, it happens when you have the misfortune of picking up a book where all the characters feel the same, or you read different books by the same author and they may as well be the same character dressed up with a different name. In my opinion overcoming this and insuring your characters are distinctive and three dimensional comes down to three things.

• Your character's unique profile; Goals, motivations, background, and characteristics.
• Authentic and informed body language and mannerisms
• Authentic and informed dialogue and internal narrative

I'm focusing on the second two points, because I think the first is rather obvious—the second two are harder.

Part 1 - Authentic and informed body language and mannerisms

So where does Bruce Lee come into it you ask? Well... I was lucky enough to be sitting next to my husband one day when he was watching a Bruce Lee documentary. It was pretty interesting but then suddenly something happened that was a total light-bulb moment.

A clip came on of a young Bruce Lee being interviewed; and man did that guy drip swagger. I mean he oozed it from every pore of his body. I had to sit forward and watch him. He spoke to Hollywood big shots like he was king of the world, like it was their privilege to be speaking to him (and just think about the context­. 1960's America and the number of Asian's on—or rather not on— television).

They asked him a question, and he raised one brow slightly, turned his head a little and shot the camera such a look of supreme masculine confidence that nearly fifty years later it was able to jump out of the screen and hit me in my errr thinking bits. He then stood, subtly rolled his shoulders, adjusted a lapel of his jacket, and spoke with an elegant sweeping hand gesture.

It was just wow—a complete lesson on confidence, masculinity and body language. I know without a doubt that if the author I talked about in my last post had written her hero with even a hint of this kind of unspoken masculinity, I would never have mistaken him for someone with a vagina—even if the POV change hadn't been identified.

But if that was not enough of a writer's gold mine, it got better. Yeah, better. Another clip comes on and this time my guy Bruce is talking about Chinese Opera. He proceeds to show the camera how in Chinese Opera characters can be immediately identified by the way they walk. A warrior walks with distinct powerful movements and a scholar (who he refers to as weaklings but we scholars will kindly ignore this) has a more effeminate walk.

Here's a clip of that interview. It's long so you might want to jump ahead to about the three minute mark.

Now, I don't mean the walks he demonstrated should be applied to modern fiction. Not at all. But the concept, the idea that characters very walks should serve to identify them is completely transcendent.

So the point is, your character's every moment should embody who they are. Don't tell me your hero is a playboy SHOW ME HIS SWAGGER!

Talking about swagger, I think this video clip for Blurred Lines is the very epitome of playboy swagger. Yeah I know it's sexist and objectifies woman, shush. I'm talking about characterisation and this hits the nail for a certain romance hero type that begs to be reformed. Watch out Mr THICKE I will be writing about you—prepare to be domesticated.  

 

Writers make YouTube your best friend. Want to know how a high-powered attractive CEO moves, their expressions, gestures? Find a clip of someone like Mark Bouris speaking. Want to know how a supermodel moves? Well, you get the picture.

Happy viewing.

When Point of View Fails

Last week I mentioned my sample chapter test for picking a good book. Well, something snuck past my test and I'm fuming. I sampled a chapter that was amazing! I was thrilled. I had to download the full even though it was of the major pub variety that charges the same for eBooks that I usually spend on paperbacks. But hey, when a book is good it warrants the expense.

It only had a three star rating but I prefer my own judgement and loved the first chapter so who cares; ratings aren't everything. So with the magic of one-click I download the full and picked up where the sample left off. Except... Things weren't making sense. Really, weren't making sense. I read a few more pages and then the heroines cock twitched—Ummm her what did what now!

No, it wasn't a transsexual plot twist, although it would've been a more satisfying read if it was. The author had simply changed point of view. So that happens, nothing wrong with a dual POV. Obviously the POV changed and I just missed it. But it kept happening. The hero suddenly has tits and the heroine thinks about her dick... It was jarring and prevented me from being able to follow the story let alone immerse myself in it.

Some of the best advice I ever received was from a multi-published author/editor who explained to me the importance of POV, and that the one you choose should always be a considered choice made with understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of that particular style. It's advice I took to heart—so much so that I eventually changed the POV I write in because I understand why I'm writing in it, and what that does for my story.  I couldn't help but feel if the author had considered her choice, and understood the limitations of the style she chose, she could have had an amazing book.

POV changes are tricky, but this author had a few extra challenges and lost her way on several levels. For starters it was 1st person, so the "I" character was changing. This is the most delicate POV style to change. I'm not saying that dual 1st person should never be attempted; I am saying that it comes with a range of limitations that need to be understood and overcome.

For one the author cannot depend on the crutch of being able to identify who is in the scene immediately by name. If the character is walking down an empty street then; "I crept through the deserted street." There's not the ease of being able to write "Jessica crept through the deserted street." So you can see how if things are moving along the POV character may not be identified as anything other than "I" for several pages.

It then becomes crucial (and I believe this is true for every POV style) that the characters be distinctive and easily identifiable within themselves. They should have their own voice (including distinct language choice, way of speaking, syntax) as well as body language and mannerisms. You shouldn't need to say their name to feel their skin—and with 1st person you have no leeway not to achieve this. 

In the book I mentioned the hero's and heroine's internal narrative and body language were so simular there was no real way to distinguish who was who, other than when they each thought about the other, or specific details about their own life that would distinguish them to the reader. They simply weren't distinct enough. To make it worse they were of different genders so it should have been obvious.

Furthermore the major disadvantage seemed missed. Changing an "I" character is difficult for some readers to accept. It's jarring. Think, if you're in 3rd you can change POV but Jessica is still Jessica, and Peter is still Peter. But in 1st one moment Jessica is "I" and the next moment Peter is "I". It's far more uncomfortable. So the writer needs to make sure that transition is handled with utmost care. This wasn't.

Which brings me to the last issue—considering the why of the choice. Why does this story need to be told this way?  I couldn't help feeling in this book the author failed to seize the advantages and overlooked the disadvantages. For example the greatest advantage (IMHO) of 1st person is the intimacy of the storytelling; you can really make it a particular characters story. So if you plan to split it you really need to know why you are writing in 1st person and not 3rd deep POV? If you still decide that this is the right choice for this tale, then you need to consider how you are going to treat it. Who does the story belong to and why? This story seemed to not belong to either character and alternated at times because it was that characters 'turn', not because at that time the POV character was driving the story.

Please don't take this to mean I think there is anything wrong with 1st person or even dual 1st person. I have written both. But I do think no matter what POV you choose, know why you're choosing it, know the advantages, disadvantages and limitations, and most of all make sure it is handled with purpose and intention. 

Got any POV questions or tips?